Monday, October 19, 2009

Silly Things I Have Found Posted on Facebook and in Emails

I will use this entry to post things other than Facebook status updates. I will dedicate another entry to those "treasures" that are status updates.


***The road to success is not straight. There is a curve called Failure, a loop called Confusion, speed bumps called Friends, red lights called Enemies, caution lights called Family. You will have flats called Jobs. But, if you have a spare called Determination, an engine called Perseverance, insurance called Faith, a driver called Jesus, you will make it to a place called Success.

***Thought for the day:
Remember, when the world pushes you to your knees, You're in the perfect position to pray.

***Happiness keeps you Sweet,
Trials keep you Strong,
Sorrows keep you Human,
Failures keep you Humble,
Success keeps you Glowing ,
But Only Friends Keep You Going!

***{from healthy tips from Dr. Oz}
4. Admire your work

Don't be so trigger-happy with the flusher. Turn around and take a look at your poop, which speaks volumes about your gut and overall health. Poop should be smooth and S-shaped, like your colon. If it comes out too lumpy, or drops into the bowl like marbles, you're constipated. Increase your fiber and water intake.

20. Grab your nuts

Nuts are among the best sources of healthful fats and protein around. I keep a bag of walnuts in my fridge and use their massive dose of omega-3 fatty acids to boost my brainpower while I see patients. Half of a handful eaten about 30 minutes before a meal will temper your appetite and help you avoid the drive-thru.

21. No, seriously, grab your nuts

Testicular cancer is the most common cancer in men in the 15-to- 35 age group, but it's usually curable if it's caught early enough. I strongly urge you to grab your testicles. Check them for bumps at least once a month. Each testicle should feel smooth and slightly soft, and one should hang slightly lower than the other, like two avocados (which, in Aztec, actually means "testicles") growing on a tree.

23. Do your penis a favor and step on a treadmill

Men who exercise enough to burn 200 calories a day significantly lower their chances of impotence. That's because impotence often has the same cause as heart attacks: blocked arteries. Your penis is like a dipstick for your arteries, so check it. If you're interested in keeping it up later in life, lace up the sneakers now.

2 comments:

  1. that "thought for the day" made me think dirtily.

    ok, i was *already* doing that, but still: LOL

    ReplyDelete
  2. Blurgh! Make me vomit in my mouth! The first one makes no sense whatsoever. Worst metaphor ever!

    ReplyDelete